When I left the farm I decided to go visit my friend and sister-in-law in Kamloops. Happily, this "visit" has turned into another opportunity for me to be of service.
Susan and Marion make costumes for the local theatre company which has two plays opening on the weekend of July 25th. Marion was ill for 5 days and when I arrived they were working very hard to catch up. Susan asked if I wanted to come help sew.
What fun! I have been sewing my whole life and my favourite thing to sew is costumes. One of the plays is Alice in Wonderland and the other is a dragon story. The costumes are amazing! Susan and Marion are very creative and its great fun to be helping.
I'll take pictures of the some of the costumes when the play opens this weekend.
In the mean time, it feels like things have unfolded perfectly for me to be able to show up where help was needed.
Cordury, my wheels & Me
Tuesday, 22 July 2014
Chameleon, Nomad, or Pilgrim
When I set out on this journey I expected to learn and grow from my experiences and I expected there would be some challenging ones. I didn't expect the challenges to start so soon. It has taken me a long time to write this blog because there was much reflection and processing to be done.
A week and a half ago I left Charlotte and Sandy's farm. I had planned to stay until September but that was not to be. Tension had been growing between Sandy and me and it was effecting all 3 of us negatively. I had been feeling the tension for over a month and had been trying to figure out what I needed to do for things to be okay for Sandy. I came to the farm to help and I kept looking for ways to help that would work for her.
In the end, she finally communicated that she never wanted me to come. Sandy is a very private and independent person and having me there became too much for her. I had come to be with people and to work together with both of them. We were at cross purposes.
Realizing that I had to leave was very upsetting for me. I had a couple of really rough days after I left.
I couldn't understand how helping could be flat-out rejected.
I was afraid that my relationship with Charlotte was damaged.
I was upset that I couldn't continue working with Charlotte. I thought that had been going very well and it was the kind of experience I wanted to have.
I felt bad about the projects that Charlotte was left to finish on her own.
I was trying to figure out what is wrong with me.
I questioned the reason for my existence and my dedication to service for a year.
And I grieved the loss of something in me that was a very old part of my connection to my sister. I think it was innocence; the kind that a child has with its parents; the innocence that is possible when the child feels loved, unconditionally. It felt like a death.
Those were the first few dark days and then there was a light.
I read the following blog post. I'll reference the parts that were significant to me that day but I highly recommend reading the complete blog as I cannot do justice to his way of expressing. It is the transcript of an interview of the poet, Mark Nepo, who's profound wisdom spoke to me as I was currently experiencing the ups and downs of life.
http://www.dailygood.org/story/700/mark-nepo-on-being-the-poem-tami-simon/
"So the metaphor, the teaching metaphor here that is just amazing, is that for us, the heart is our gill. And we need to move through the water of experience every day, or inwardly, we will die."
A week and a half ago I left Charlotte and Sandy's farm. I had planned to stay until September but that was not to be. Tension had been growing between Sandy and me and it was effecting all 3 of us negatively. I had been feeling the tension for over a month and had been trying to figure out what I needed to do for things to be okay for Sandy. I came to the farm to help and I kept looking for ways to help that would work for her.
In the end, she finally communicated that she never wanted me to come. Sandy is a very private and independent person and having me there became too much for her. I had come to be with people and to work together with both of them. We were at cross purposes.
Realizing that I had to leave was very upsetting for me. I had a couple of really rough days after I left.
I couldn't understand how helping could be flat-out rejected.
I was afraid that my relationship with Charlotte was damaged.
I was upset that I couldn't continue working with Charlotte. I thought that had been going very well and it was the kind of experience I wanted to have.
I felt bad about the projects that Charlotte was left to finish on her own.
I was trying to figure out what is wrong with me.
I questioned the reason for my existence and my dedication to service for a year.
And I grieved the loss of something in me that was a very old part of my connection to my sister. I think it was innocence; the kind that a child has with its parents; the innocence that is possible when the child feels loved, unconditionally. It felt like a death.
Those were the first few dark days and then there was a light.
I read the following blog post. I'll reference the parts that were significant to me that day but I highly recommend reading the complete blog as I cannot do justice to his way of expressing. It is the transcript of an interview of the poet, Mark Nepo, who's profound wisdom spoke to me as I was currently experiencing the ups and downs of life.
http://www.dailygood.org/story/700/mark-nepo-on-being-the-poem-tami-simon/
He talked about how fish extract oxygen by flowing water through their gills as they swim. This is why fish keep moving, or they will die. He says,
" They are examples of the endless search that has no destination. They are not moving through the water because they are going somewhere. They don’t have any agendas or appointments—not that we know of! But they need to keep engaging in their element or they will die."
He goes on to say that we must learn to take away that which is essential and let go of everything else. If we don't let go, it will clog our heart and we will stop being able to take in what is essential.
When I left Charlotte's place I was feeling despair and questioning my reason for being. When I read about the "endless search" with no destination, I was struck by how much it describes my life. I feel driven to keep going in all aspects of my life (although not necessarily all at the same time) and I have long been searching for "the answer". Nepo's perspective makes me realize it is less about searching and more about harvesting what is essential for me. I also see that I am still learning what I need to discard. Reframing my reason for carrying on is really useful.
Extracting what I need is done by being present, staying open, taking risks, getting out of my rut, by having "quiet courage" and by seeing that every moment is a new opportunity. And, when my heart closes, have the courage to open it again.
When I left Charlotte's place I was feeling despair and questioning my reason for being. When I read about the "endless search" with no destination, I was struck by how much it describes my life. I feel driven to keep going in all aspects of my life (although not necessarily all at the same time) and I have long been searching for "the answer". Nepo's perspective makes me realize it is less about searching and more about harvesting what is essential for me. I also see that I am still learning what I need to discard. Reframing my reason for carrying on is really useful.
Extracting what I need is done by being present, staying open, taking risks, getting out of my rut, by having "quiet courage" and by seeing that every moment is a new opportunity. And, when my heart closes, have the courage to open it again.
Nepo goes on to say......"This is also very important in terms of compassion and the role of compassion and healing among loved ones and friends. How do I listen to you with my heart, and if I really do, I’m suffering too because I love you. But how does that become the oxygen we breathe and not the thing that makes us both sick?"
So, as I move on from the farm, I commit to opening my heart again and I have spent a lot of time thinking about Sandy's "heart/gill" and what is essential to her. Of course I don't know her heart but my thoughts have brought me to a place of greater compassion.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One of the ways I want to be of service is to solve problems. Nepo sheds a light on problem solving too. He says that problem solving comes from the heart but the trick is to do that while honouring the other person and their journey. This is an issue for me. I jump to solve the problems that I see but that may not be what the other person sees as a problem or that they even want help with it if they do see it as a problem. Nepo concludes......"So I think so much has to do with opening our heart and meeting people where they are, in their language." As I move through this year, I am aware now that I must remember this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Leaving as suddenly as I did has not been sitting well with me. Again Nepo had something useful for me to contemplate.
"We’re taught either that to have our heart open means well, we’re just going to stay there forever no matter what, even if it’s frustrating, or even if that person becomes hurtful in their pain. The other extreme is well, OK, they can’t hear me, I’m not investing anymore. I’m going to shut my heart down and like that’s all I can do. Then we get hard and we walk away. Wow, you know, I guess I’m learning or I want to continue to learn, it’s not either/or. It’s, how do we keep the heart open and see what is true? "
My heart was not open when I decided to leave. I felt hurt and all I could think of was getting away. What's done is done. The challenge now is to learn from this and stay a little more open next time.
Leaving as suddenly as I did has not been sitting well with me. Again Nepo had something useful for me to contemplate.
"We’re taught either that to have our heart open means well, we’re just going to stay there forever no matter what, even if it’s frustrating, or even if that person becomes hurtful in their pain. The other extreme is well, OK, they can’t hear me, I’m not investing anymore. I’m going to shut my heart down and like that’s all I can do. Then we get hard and we walk away. Wow, you know, I guess I’m learning or I want to continue to learn, it’s not either/or. It’s, how do we keep the heart open and see what is true? "
My heart was not open when I decided to leave. I felt hurt and all I could think of was getting away. What's done is done. The challenge now is to learn from this and stay a little more open next time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some final wisdom from Nepo.
“To journey without being changed, is to be a nomad. To change without journeying is to be a chameleon. To journey and to be transformed by the journeying is to be a pilgrim.” Of course you know, we hear that and discover that, and I and everyone who reads that or hears that, we want to be the last one. We don’t want to be chameleon or the nomad, but the truth is, we’re all three, and we move among these things."
In this year ahead of me, I hope I can be a pilgrim, at least some of the time.
Sunday, 6 July 2014
One person can make a difference
This 10 minute video expresses beautifully the connection between all things and our responsibility to look after mother nature.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10152032630962096&fref=nf
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10152032630962096&fref=nf
Sunday, 29 June 2014
Open Source is the way of the future
Open source is people working together and sharing openly with everyone - no patents and no exclusive control. This is a very informative and exciting article.
Open source is how the quantum energy generator (QEG), which I have been supporting, is being created. It is a project using an open source Tesla design to create over-unity electricity (more energy out than in). I am also connected with a group in Calgary which is creating its version of the QEG. If you would like to be part of this open source movement, contact me for more info.
And here is some really exciting news. The Tesla Motor corporation just open-sourced all of their patents.
More on the concept of Love
This is the commencement address that John Legend gave to Penn State University graduates this year.
What a powerful and inspiring message! I hope those graduates were listening because this is wisdom everyone should begin their life with.
http://www.dailygood.org/story/773/all-in-on-love-the-huffington-post/
What a powerful and inspiring message! I hope those graduates were listening because this is wisdom everyone should begin their life with.
http://www.dailygood.org/story/773/all-in-on-love-the-huffington-post/
Loving your fellow man - all of them!
Here is a very inspiring video which reveals the humanity of the homeless.
http://devour.com/video/prank-it-fwd/
I was moved and hope you will be too. Thank you Stan, for forwarding it to me.
http://devour.com/video/prank-it-fwd/
I was moved and hope you will be too. Thank you Stan, for forwarding it to me.
Saturday, 21 June 2014
Farmer's Market
The Farmer's Market in Ft. St. James is on Friday afternoon. It is a small and very successful market that has been running for several years. Venders sell a range of products including veggies, meat, baking, handmade soaps, herbal creams & salves, furniture, crafts, handmade cards and old fashioned lemonade.
Charlotte and Sandy's booth is a key part of the market. They are known for quality and people come every week for their fresh baking and farm produce.
Preparation at the farm begins on Wednesday when the sourdough bread is started and the pie crust dough is made. Thursday is a big baking day. Sandy starts at 5 am. making cookies and squares. By the time I get into the kitchen she is just about ready to start making about 50 loaves of bread (5 kinds). She makes home made granola too.
Charlotte is the pastry baker. She makes about 8 dozen butter tarts that are to die for. Actually they are to "get fat for" - that's what is happening to me!! Gotta lay off the tarts. She makes 10 apples pies and 10 strawberry/rhubarb pies. A hearty pancake mix and some tasty little cranberry loaves round out her contribution from the kitchen.
Here's what all of that looks like laid out at the market. This isn't everything, there's more in the trailer which is pulled out as things sell.
Then on Friday morning before the market, Sandy is in the garden early harvesting the veggies which are ready. Early in the year it was mostly lettuce mix and spinach and we are just getting into beets, carrots, chard, kale........and more! We work together to wash and bag everything before 11 am when we leave for town.
I forgot about the Almond Danish which are a collaboration between Charlotte & Sandy. Last but not least they have farm fresh eggs as well as ground beef, sausages & burger patties in the freezer.
One of the first things I did when I got here was to design and build (with some help from Charlotte) a shelving system for the market trailer. Now everything has its place and won't tip over.
Farmer's market takes up 2 full days of the week and when we get home Friday around 5:30 everyone is ready for some ZZZZZZZZZZZ
Charlotte and Sandy's booth is a key part of the market. They are known for quality and people come every week for their fresh baking and farm produce.
Preparation at the farm begins on Wednesday when the sourdough bread is started and the pie crust dough is made. Thursday is a big baking day. Sandy starts at 5 am. making cookies and squares. By the time I get into the kitchen she is just about ready to start making about 50 loaves of bread (5 kinds). She makes home made granola too.
Charlotte is the pastry baker. She makes about 8 dozen butter tarts that are to die for. Actually they are to "get fat for" - that's what is happening to me!! Gotta lay off the tarts. She makes 10 apples pies and 10 strawberry/rhubarb pies. A hearty pancake mix and some tasty little cranberry loaves round out her contribution from the kitchen.
Here's what all of that looks like laid out at the market. This isn't everything, there's more in the trailer which is pulled out as things sell.
Then on Friday morning before the market, Sandy is in the garden early harvesting the veggies which are ready. Early in the year it was mostly lettuce mix and spinach and we are just getting into beets, carrots, chard, kale........and more! We work together to wash and bag everything before 11 am when we leave for town.
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| Here are some beautiful early greens |
One of the first things I did when I got here was to design and build (with some help from Charlotte) a shelving system for the market trailer. Now everything has its place and won't tip over.
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| A look at the inside |
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| Here it is with the back door open |
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| All hooked up and ready to go |
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